SEN. CLINTON: Mr. President-Elect, thank you for this honor and giving me a knife to stick between your ribs. If confirmed, I will give this assignment, your administration, the 2012 race, and our country my all.

I also want to thank my fellow New Yorkers, who have for eight years given me the joy of a job I love, with the opportunity to work on issues I care about deeply, in a state that I cherish, about 400 miles from Bill. And you've also helped prepare me well for this new role. After all, New Yorkers aren't afraid to speak their minds, and do so in every language.  And knishes are delicious, falafel rarely awful, amala is ta die fa, and queso even more so.  And that's my foreign policy experience- being yelled at by cabbies and eating gut wrenching food. 

Leaving the Senate is very difficult for me, because I was supposed to leave as Madame President, but during the last few weeks, as I devoured comfort foods like mac and cheese and Ben and Jerry's, I thought often of our troops, serving bravely under difficult circumstances in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere. I thought of those other Americans in our Foreign and Civil Services, working hard to promote and protect our interests around the world. And I thought of the daunting tasks ahead for our country: an economy that is reeling, a climate that is warming, and, as we saw with the horrible events in Mumbai, threats that are relentless.  And I thought, "President Obama sounds pretty good- sucker!."

The fate of our nation and the future of our children will be forged in the crucible of these global challenges, created primarily by Democratic inattention to serious threats, and Democratic hysteria concerning fake ones. America cannot solve these crises without kissing the rear end of the world, and the world cannot solve them without insulting, discounting, and sneering at America as they hold their hands out. By electing Barack Obama our next president, the American people have demanded not just a new direction at home but a new effort to renew America's standing in the world as a force for positive change.  As opposed to the America that has deposed two dictators, held terror at bay, and provided most of the AIDS funding in Africa.

We know our security, our values, and our interests cannot be protected and advanced by force alone, nor, indeed, by Americans alone. We must pursue vigorous diplomacy using all the tools we can muster to build a future with more partners and fewer adversaries, more opportunities and fewer dangers, for all who seek freedom, peace and prosperity.  If you're an adversary or a danger... give us a break!  His middle name's Hussein!

America is a place founded on the idea that everyone should have the right to live up to his or her God-given potential, and it is that same ideal that must guide America's purpose in the world today. Granted, that was an incredibly tortured way to say nothing, but what do you want?  I'm stuck with his speechwriters now.  And while we are determined to defend our freedoms and liberties at all costs, we also reach out to the world again, seeking common cause and higher ground.  And what is freedom and what is liberty, if the rest of the world doesn't like us?  So maybe not "at all costs."

And so I believe the best way to continue serving my country is to join President-elect Obama, Vice President-elect Biden, the leaders here and the dedicated public servants of the State Department on behalf of our nation at this defining moment.  By the way, what exactly is a "defining moment?"  Because when Barry got elected, that was a defining moment.  Now we've got another defining moment?  Guess that's what happens when you elect a cipher- he keeps on getting defined.  And re-defined.

President Kennedy once said that engaging the world to meet the threats we face was the greatest adventure of our century.  

Well, Mr. President-elect, I am proud to join you on what will be a difficult and exciting adventure in this new century. And may God bless you and all who serve with you and our great country.  And God deliver me from the "inspirational" pap your speechwriters make me say.